German Cars vs American Homes are not your friends but rather a band of crap-core luminaries exploring the limitless limitations of far out.

MISSION STATEMENT
To create more far out music. To capture the ìzeitgeist of the ageî. To conquer the east village. To do a lot of coke and have a lot of sex. To sell out. To fight the Archvillain Mapplethorpe. To defend Lord Tarique*. To do that stuff, aah, do that stuff. To drink Grolsch. To build a mighty cult empire based in Astoria, Queens. To defeat international terrorism. To make enough money that we donít need to go broke paying for rehearsal time and new instruments. To have sex with you. Thatís right, you. To own a dog.

German Cars vs. American Homes has been enslaved by the evil Mishap organization**. To reach the Mishap organization, use this address: Mishap 25-22 3th st. #1 Astoria, NY 11106 or you can actually call us at 718.956.6266.

  * Not to be confused with Tariq, the rapper. Lord Tarique is a benevolent god.
** Founded by the archvillain Mapplethrope.

THE BAND

James Call: The real James was born in the Appalachians and has better taste than you. He lives in a large estate in Astoria, Queens, with his two brides, Mindy and Cindy, both Russian. He is a terrible swing yet plays gold constantly nonetheless. He has a giant cocaine habit but is a very social man when placed amongst the better elements. He is of excellent breeding, having attendance Harvard, Oxford, and Humboldt State. His highly trained team of Dobermans will attack you if you come within 10 feet of his palatial gates, but once inside James will cordially show you through his grotesquely huge Miro collection. He has never seen a film, except for "The Story of O," which he has seen 150 times.

Pu Yi: formerly the Emperor of China, Pu Yi has refashioned himself a disk-jockey. He is a highly social man, often throwing gala soirées at his 200-room palace in the Hamptons. He owns the nation of Pakistan and would gladly give it to you for a blow job. He is very open to homosexuality but only if it is performed in a perverse and ritualistic way. As a disc jockey, Pu Yi has taken it upon himself to talk with the lower classes directly, a bold step. However, his doctors assure us that he is daily decontaminated. As part of his link with the masses, Pu Yi routinely contributes $100,000 monthly to the local Republican Party; along with the rest of the band, he is a staunch Forbes man. Pu Yi loves to spend time with his giant extended family, collect animal skulls, and play naughty with several of his interns. A jovial fellow indeed.

Dr. Neill Sanford Livingston: German Cars vs. American Homes'  only certified archaeologist, Sanford is without a doubt the group's moral leader. A towering figure, standing at a stunning 5í 10î, he inspires servitude, righteousness and action in all of good blood around him. It was Sanfordís idea to form a whites-only boyís club at Harvard during the Reagan Revolution days, as it was his decision to put his foot down in regards to the proposal to replace cherries with popcorn at the school theatre. He too has a cocaine habit, but is an old school chum of the President of Colombia, and thus provides for the whole. Bravo Sanford!

 

Peugot Cocaine Richardson: P.C. Richard & Son, so known to his friends, is a quiet figure, the artist of the younger generation. He owns a model of every aeroplane, bicycle or rocket ever created. Friends have seen him pacing in circles for days upon end in his gymnasium pondering the existence of complex geometric forms such as the pyramid. He plays the violin and is cared for by his nanny, who has looked after him ever since his parents died in a horrible water-skiing accident. Though quiet, Puegot is affectionately refered to as "the Vornado" by his close friends. He speaks eighteen different languages, most of them fluently. His mastery of Phony European is staggering.