Please don't touch us little people - German Cars vs American Homes

James' roguish charm and wit are ALWAYS in style. How delightfully devilish!

Please don't touch us, little people
An essay by the real James

Hello, tout le monde! Recently there has been some controvery over who constitutes the better classes and who is below us. I'm here to clear up any disaggreements. First of all, the largest question looming today is, "Is 'new money' or internet wealth sufficient to join the ruling elite?" We in GC vs. AH struggled with this question for some time. There was some controversy, but in the end we hammered out a compromise. Self-made millionaires or billionaires can join the ruling classes only if they a.) Move into a Gated Community or b.) Build a university center at the cost of $1.5 mil or more. Of course, they will not be permitted to join the universal Good Old Boys and Girls Network; this organization must be kept clean.

That out of the way, let me establish the guidelines, which cannot be broken, regarding the kinds of people who may not join the ruling class. The following people/classes must remain in their place.

women
video store clerks
pop musicians
leftists (Keynesians permitted)
young urban professionals
traditionally religious people
people with no feng shui
Vietnam veterans
paralegals
people who watch Will Smith films
people who use public transportation
unrecognized artists
comedians

coffee shop clerks
people whous cheap hair products
"hip-hoppers"
compassionate people
people who don't speak English
unpleasant people
people who drink cheap beer
administrative assistants
wives that are not trophies
Marlboro smokers
cheap wine conisseurs
mutants
freaks
non-cosmopolitans

Please notice that there is no discrimination based on race. Only sex and birth into lower levels of wealth.