a story by jonas ted bond

ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A FARMER. HIS NAME WAS FARMER. HE HAD LOTS OF FRIENDS AND THEY WERE ALL MEXICANS. HE WOULD OFTEN BE TALKING TO HIS MEXICAN FRIENDS WHEN OUT OF THE BLUE, HE WOULD SAY, "I'M A FARMER." THEY ALMOST ALWAYS AGREE AND SAY, "YUP, YOU'RE A FARMER" EVEN THOUGH HE HAD NEVER FARMED A DAY IN HIS LIFE. THE MEXICANS HAD FARMED EVERY DAY IN THEIR LIVES BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT MEXICANS ARE FOR. ONE DAY FARMER SAID, "YOU KNOW GUYS, I OUGHT TO GET A FARM." AND ALL THE MEXICANS SAID, "YUP." AND FARMER SAID, "...CUZ I'M A FARMER." BUT THEN ONE OF THE MEXICANS SAID, "I HAVE A BETTER IDEA: LET'S HAVE A FIESTA." (FIESTAS ARE WHAT MEXICANS DO WHEN THEY'RE NOT FARMING.) EVERYONE AGREED THAT THIS WAS A BETTER IDEA, EVEN FARMER. SO THEY HAD A FIESTA. AT THE FIESTA THERE WAS A BAND THAT PLAYED MARIACHI MUSIC AND A LOT OF BEER CALLED 'CORONA.' IN AMERICA, CORONA MEANS THIS THING AROUND THE SUN, BUT IN MEXICO IT JUST MEANS BEER. FARMER HAD SOME BEER AND THEN SAT DOWN NEXT TO ONE OF THE MEXICANS AND SAID, "BEER COMES FROM OATS AND BARLEY AND OTHER SUCH GRAINS, YOU KNOW. THAT'S WHY I'M A FARMER." THE MEXICAN SAID, "YUP." THE FIESTA WAS GOOD. ONLY MEXICANS AND FARMERS WERE INVITED. THERE WAS A MAN AT THE DOOR WHO ASKED EVERYONE WHO CAME IF THEY WERE MEXICANS OR FARMERS. IF THEY WERE NEITHER, HE MADE THEM GO HOME. ONE OF THE MEXICANS BROUGHT A WOMAN WHO WAS NOT A MEXICAN OR A FARMER. WHEN THE MAN AT THE DOOR SAID SHE HAD TO LEAVE, THE MEXICAN BEGAN TO GET MAD AND YELL, BUT EVERYONE BUTTED IN, "YOU KNOW THE RULES." AND HE HAD TO TAKE HER HOME. FARMER DECIDED THAT IT WAS GOOD TO BE A FARMER, OR AT LEAST A MEXICAN, BUT IT WAS BEST TO BE BOTH.